The Golden Coal Pot of Doe Palace

Pre-service Training is not all work.  While we spend a good deal of time in the lecture hall learning about culture, safety, and language, and we have some time to ourselves, we also have some structured social/fun activities.  I decided to try and help organize some of them (of course, I think I really did it to try to take my mind off things, and give myself something to look forward to and prevent myself from wanting to leave.  Needless to say, that plan didn't work).  The first week we had trivia night.  Normally I enjoy trivia (I was on a quiz bowl team in high school that placed second in state), but this was less my style.  It was pub trivia, at the guest house and bar that was located just outside our training compound, so everyone was drinking copious amounts of beer (well, not EVERYONE, I just had a Sprite- as it turns out, Coke, Sprite, and Fanta are reasonably accessible in the larger towns of Liberia- good to know if you occasionally need a soda fix.)  The four trivia categories were Liberian culture, pop culture, music, and sports- anyone who knows me will not be surprised that this was not my best trivia night.

The second week's social activity was to be a volleyball tournament (initially it was going to be a talent show, but we switched them so that people had more time to get to know each other and plan and rehearse acts.)  Anyway, another trainee, Alex, and I decided it would be cool to make a trophy to award the winners of the volleyball tournament.  We decided to use a coal pot, which is essentially a small charcoal grill that is the most common cooking appartus in Liberia, and is vaguely trophy-shaped, and then decorate it with paint.  We weren't sure how to go about aquiring a coal pot in the town market, though, so we asked some of the Liberian training staff- the Volunteer Leader told us to ask a man named Sackey.  As we were new to Liberian English, and still not quite sure how to overcome cultural barriers, Sackey initially misunderstood our request to accompany us into town so that we could purchase a coal pot to paint into a trophy, and later that afternoon he returned with a small plastic trophy that a friend of his was trying to sell.  We thanked him, but explained that we wanted to make one ourselves.  We got then got Prince, our Liberian Safety and Security Officer, to drive us into Kakata to purchase the coal pot.  We had walked through the town the day before, and Alex and I both thought it felt a bit surreal to be driving through- as if we were not a part of the scene we saw out the windows.  Prince occasionally stopped the car to greet a friend, and eventually we found someone who knew someone else who was selling a coal pot.  His friend told another man who owned a motorcycle to guide us to the house that was selling.  We followed the motorcycle through the market, and up a hill past a number of houses, before the motorcyclist stopped and went down to a house.  Soon, he returned with the seller, who was carrying the coal pot.  It was a bit rusty, and the paint was very chipped, but since we were going to repaint it anyway, we happily bought it for $150 Liberian dollars (which is about $2 US).

Here it is, before we started working on it.

We then returned to the main market street, off one of the few paved roads in Liberia that runs through the center of Kakata all the way to Monrovia.  Most of the shops along this road were set up in concrete buildings and sold larger items like mattresses.  A few even had frozen meat.  If you turned down the dirt road, that would bring you to the more stall-like shops selling more things like beans, vegetables, and lappa fabric.  Along the paved road, however, were a few hardware stores.  We found a wire brush with which to scrape off the old paint, but no sandpaper to clean the rust, and no paint.  However, there was another hardware store which was closed that day, so Alex resolved to check that place the next day.  We returned to Doe Palace and scraped some of the chipping paint, then stashed our prize in the office, so that we could keep it a secret from most of the other trainees.

Alex did managed to track down some sandpaper and gold spray paint the next day, so we scraped off the rest of the rust and painted it before heading off to site exposure.  Rebecca, one of the currently serving volunteers who was helping with training, agreed to bring us some other paints back from her site.  Unfortunately, the day we got back from site exposure was the day I told our Country Director that I was not going to stay in Peace Corps.  However, Alex agreed that we should get the trophy finished before I left, so that evening, we borrowed Rebecca's paints and tracked down a Sharpie marker to decorate.  We left some space for the winning team to write their names, and we hope to leave it at Doe Palace to be used in future PST's volleyball tournaments.  Not much of a legacy to leave, I suppose, compared to the good I could have done had I taught in the schools for two years, but a fun experience in Liberian shopping nonetheless, and a relaxing way to spend my final night in Kakata.

The finished product, sans winning team names inside the cup.

Kakata

As promised, here is some stories from the short time I was in Liberia.  This first post is generally about the first few days at the Peace Corps Training Center.

Peace Corps training takes place in Doe Palace, named after Samuel Doe, a previous president of Liberia.  It is located in the town of Kakata.  The first few days of training were spent listening to lectures about health, safety, and culture, as well as exploring the town to start to get a feel for Liberia.    A few PCVs from the groups before us were at training to answer our questions and show us around.  I think the highlight of the first couple days was walking around the Kakata marketplace.

As we walked from Doe Palace to the market area, small children came running out of their houses to greet us.  Some simply stayed on the porch and waved, others came down and wanted fistbumps.  As far as I can tell, only young children use fistbumps as a greeting here.  Between adults, the handshake is a bit more complicated.  While it varies from person to person, the Liberian handshake always begins like an American handshake and ends with a fingersnap.  It can be more complex, but as I found that following the lead of whoever I am shaking with seems to work well. (I probably have the years of social ballroom dance to thank for my physical following skills).  Many of the Peace Corps staff are Liberian, and made sure to practice the handshake with all of us until we knew it.  I think the people in the market were impressed that we had only been in the country for one day and already knew the handshake, even though we were still having trouble speaking Liberian English (more on that later).

The market in Kakata is quite large, with vendors selling everything from food to lappa fabric to cookware to secondhand clothes.  Charlene, one of the current volunteers showed us the best laundry soap to buy, where to get lappa fabric, and which fruits and vegatables were available and how it was generally best to prepare them; as well as a quick crash course in what to expect to pay for things- vendors may increase their prices when they have a white customer, so we should expect to have to barter them down.  (By the way, the Liberian English phrase for ripping someone off is “eating your eyeball”).  I was pleasantly surprised with how friendly and un-pushy the market vendors were.  Many were happy to stop you to say hello and would not push you to buy anything, and when Charlene told them she was just showing us things, they were happy to allow that without making us buy them.  I am not particularly well-travelled, but I realized I must have been subconsciously expecting that sort of marketplace to be like what I had seen other places, where if you let your gaze rest on an item for more than a microsecond, the vendor would shove it into your hands and demand money.  But, that is one of the main goals of Peace Corps: to build an understanding of other cultures on the part of Americans.  I don’t claim to fully understand Liberia, but I at least have a realistic first impression.

We did buy some rambutans, (locally known as Monkey Apples), a spiky fruit related to lychees, from a little girl: 50 Liberian dollars (about 65 cents US) bought almost the entire trayful that she was carrying on her head.  We ate them as we visited the high school in Kakata and met the Peace Corps volunteer who taught there, before returning to the air-conditioned, wifi-enabled Doe Palace for dinner.

Follow Your Dreams

I’ll start plainly:  After a week and a half in the Peace Corps, I am heading back to the US.  Why? You are probably asking.  I have noting against the Peace Corps, or Liberia.  It is a wonderful program, and is a very good thing for a lot of people. My reasons for leaving were entirely personal.  While I feel like this is somewhat embarrassing to admit, I do think I owe an honest explanation to my family and friends.  And I know that I found Peace Corps blogs very useful learning tools while I was applying, so I can hope that, by publishing this, I can offer insight to some future invitee or nominee who is on the fence.  (NOT that I am openly discouraging anyone from joining the Peace Corps- I am just encourage everyone to really think about their decision and follow their heart).

My Peace Corps application took a VERY long time- 18 months from the start of the application to departing for Liberia.  Generally, Peace Corps takes 9-12 months, and this is what I was expecting when I applied.  I had hoped to leave soon after my college graduation, although that was only about 6 months from when I turned in the application.  It was just one of dozens of job applications, but Peace Corps was the one I was most sure I could get- the odds for others were just too steep and I lacked technical experience.  I figured I would graduate, get some temporary jobs if necessary, and then leave.  But in that year between graduating and departure (and it was exactly a year: I graduated on June 17, 2012, and staging was on June 17, 2013) a lot changed.  The part-time jobs I had gotten to fill time and pay rent ended up being much more enjoyable than I had anticipated, and closely aligned with my ultimate career goals (I eventually want to work at an aquarium or zoo, so I figured working part-time at a children’s museum and part-time at a pet store was a reasonable first step).  The museum in particular was hard to leave, but when I finally got my Peace Corps invitation, I was both caught in the momentum I had built up attempting to prepare my life for Peace Corps and determined to not simply pass up this sort of opportunity.

For the first week or so after I got my invitation, I was mostly excited to be done waiting.  While I was a little bit disappointed to have been assigned as a secondary math teacher, rather than in environmental education (for which my regional recruiter nominated me), I was excited by the prospect of finally getting what I had worked at for so long.  But as time went by and I learned more about Liberia, I began to wonder if this is what I really wanted.  I knew for sure that I didn’t want to be a classroom teacher forever, and I was worried about spending two years getting experience in only that, though I knew Peace Corps was its own, much bigger experience as well (and would certainly look better on a resume than teaching for two years in America).  I continued with the process, passing medical clearance, applying for visas, and quitting my job at the museum, with each step making me feel more like I was stuck with the decision- that I had to continue moving forward, as it would be too much of a waste to turn back.  Sometimes, especially over the last two months before departure, I felt like this was the ONLY reason I was carrying on.  But I assured myself that doubts and second-guessing myself were normal when making a big decision.  I told myself that if I passed up this opportunity, I would regret it forever.  I asked myself if I was really reluctant to go to Liberia, or just sad to leave my life in California.

If you re-read my first few blog posts, it may become clear that by the time I left, I was just grasping at everything I could to try to convince myself.  But, I was determined to at least try.  Although I only admitted it to a few people, I hardly expected that I would stay for long.  I knew that people dropped out of Peace Corps midway through training, or even partway into service, and I half-expected to be one of them. I hoped that Liberia would somehow magically be so much more than I had expected, that as soon as I arrived, I would really and truly want to be there for two years.

Of course, it didn’t take long in-country to realize I couldn’t force the issue with myself.  I knew I was on a good path for my life, I knew what I wanted to do next, and I saw no good reason to keep pushing myself to stay in Liberia for two whole years when my heart just wasn’t in it.  I was not happy in the heat and humidity, or eating so much spicy food.  To top it all off, my body did not like the antimalarial medication I had to take.  I thought, I could deal with the physical hardships if I really cared about my project.  But classroom teaching is not something I care deeply about.  If I had stayed, I would have been drained, and not had a good attitude about being there.  It wouldn’t have been fair to myself, to my students, or to my fellow Volunteers.  So I left.

What’s next? You ask.  I will hopefully return to the Bay Area, and if all goes well I can return to my old job at the children’s museum, or perhaps a different museum.  And probably, in a year or two, I will start graduate school.  A lot of decisions still need to be made in the next few months, but I do feel like the first decision, leaving Peace Corps, was the right thing for me at this time in my life.

I do have some half-drafted blog posts that chronicle my short-lived adventure, which will be posted soon, so watch for those if you are interested.

I'm Going On An Adventure: How a Not-So-Supportive Friend and an Eighth-Grade Musical Formed My Motivation.

I would like to tell a story.  A few weeks ago, I was having dinner with a friend.  He had not been initially very supportive of my decision to join Peace Corps, mainly for two reasons.  First, he thought it was unsafe; Second, he believes Americans should help Americans before we help the rest of the world.  But, as he could tell I was determined to go through with it, he seemed disconcerted to know that I was having doubts.  While he was still unsure of whether he agreed with Peace Corps' mission, he decided to try to be a good friend and encourage me.  Surprisingly, what he said has been my guiding motivation through the doubts of the past few weeks.

He mentioned the scene from The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, when Bilbo Baggins runs through the Shire shouting "I'm going on an Adventure!".  Bilbo is a quiet hobbit with a life that is fine the way it was.  And yet, leaving that comfortable life leads to all sorts of unexpected rewards.  Joining Peace Corps, I think, will be similar- my job at the museum was reasonably comfortable, I had a good life, it may have even led in the direction I wanted my career to go.  But, if I go on this adventure, it will be greatly rewarding in ways that I have and have not imagined (I'm going to ignore the bit of the metaphor where Bilbo nearly gets eaten by trolls and finds a Ring that nearly causes the downfall of society).

The Hobbit has been rather close to my heart since I was thirteen.  There is, in existence, a musical version of The Hobbit meant for children's and youth theater groups, and it was the school musical when I was in eighth grade.  I was cast as Gandalf, and of course played a big part in getting Bilbo (played by one of my best friends- I have such fond memories of that show) to go on the adventure in the first place.  While I don't remember all of my lines, part of my song from the first scene ran thus:

I offer you adventure, 
A chance to really get away
And travel
That's very broadening they say.
Wake up,
Leave your house!
Life life!
Are you a Hobbit or a Mouse?

You've spent your entire life in this small cave
Now just once, before your ready for your grave,
Roar like a bull,
Live life to the full, 
Give in to the pull,
Of Adventure!

Ten years ago, I motivated Bilbo in the play.  Today, Bilbo motivates me.

I'm going on an adventure, indeed.

First Impressions

In a few weeks, the staging event (where the group of Peace Corps Liberia Volunteers meets in the US for a quick orientation) will seem like the least interesting part of what I have done for Peace Corps so far.  However, I thought I'd make a quick post about it now.  

I landed in Philadelphia just before the staging event, and at baggage claim, found a bunch of other people loaded with the sort of baggage that could get them through two years in Africa- (I have 2 large suitcases, and big backpack, and a small backpack, which is similar to what others have).  We all figured out we were Peace Corps, though I was a little bit confused that there were so many who had been on my flight- I didn't think there were other Peace Corps Liberia Volunteers from Denver.  My confusion was cleared up when we approached the hotel shuttle desk and realized we gave the driver two different addresses, and I realized my "new friends" were actually going to Sierra Leone (I'm guessing Peace Corps put 2 neighboring countries having staging the same day and same city because we will be on the same flight to Africa tomorrow).

After we got to our respective hotels and I joined the LIBERIA group!  I was the last to arrive at staging- anyone who was coming from further west than Colorado had flown in the night before, anyone who came in from further east was able to get there sooner- it seemed that I had the latest allowable flight.  I sat down just before the talking about safety, expectations, anxieties, and aspirations began, but as I sat down I heard two guys behind me talking.  "Well, I can follow East Coast swing a little, but not Lindy," one said.  I turned around, delighted and said "Wait, you swing dance?", and I instantly had two new best friends.  Watch out, Liberia's high schools, there probably will be swing lessons in the near future :).

Anyway, the group in general seems pretty nice.  There are 39 of us, almost all are in their early 20s.  (I'm pretty sure when the staging coordinator asked the room how many of us graduated within the past year, about 75% of the group raised their hands), so most are in a similar stage of life- though I'm sure our backgrounds, aspirations, and reasons for being in the Peace Corps are extremely varied.

The excitement of the group is contagious, and I do find myself less nervous than I was a few days ago, and less hesitant to leave than I have been in the past few months.  Tomorrow, we fly!

F.A.Q.'s

I figured I would put the answers to some frequently asked questions in a separate post.

1. Where is Liberia?
       Liberia is in West Africa, between Ivory Coast and Sierra Leone.  It is at about 3 degrees latitude, so you might see a future complaint about the heat from a certain girl who grew up in Colorado :).

2. Why did you decide you wanted to go to Liberia?
       I didn't.  I decided I wanted to join Peace Corps for a variety of reasons (see previous post), but you don't get to pick where you go.

3. Be careful.  Is it safe there?
      While no place is PERFECTLY safe, Peace Corps does an excellent job of only assigning Volunteers to REASONABLY safe regions, of making sure our living sites are secure, and of training us to be as safe as we possibly can while we are at our post, and while traveling.  All things considered, Liberia seems to be a pretty good place to serve.  The Peace Corps was a strong presence there from 1962 to 1990, when civil war broke out.  After two wars in two decades, the country stabilized, and Peace Corps began to return to Liberia in 2008.

4. Will you be able to keep in touch while you are over there?
     Probably some.  The internet there is very slow, but exists at many posts (not all).  However, if I do not have internet at my home, I will be able to occasionally get to a larger town and get online.  Please do send me email, just know that it may take me some time to get back to you.  The same is true for cell phone reception- exists in most but not all places.  For those of you that have my US phone number, I have set up a basic Google Voice, so I can get voicemails as emails (not texts though).  I will also hopefully be able to get an international SIM card so I can still use the same number/phone, but it may prove cheaper to get a local phone, in which case I will provide the new number by email.  Snail mail is also an option, though letters may take a month to arrive.  Still, I'd love to get mail, and I will write back!  You can send to this address:
Sharon Beltracchi, Peace Corps Volunteer
Peace Corps
Post Office Box 707
Monrovia, Liberia 

5. What language do they speak there?
       Liberia was created as an American territory, to be a place for freed slaves from the US to return to Africa.  As a result, the main language there is English.  There are still many indigenous local languages spoken throughout the country.  I will be given language classes when I arrive in whichever language is common in the town where I am assigned (and no, I don't know where that will be yet).

6. What exactly will you be doing?
Right now, as far as I know, I will be teaching math at the junior high level, though it could change based on the needs of my community. It will not necessarily be the same math as is standard for American junior high students- Liberia's infrastructure and education system was destroyed in the civil war, and the schools are just starting to recover.  In addition, many people growing up during the war were left uneducated, and are going back to school now, so it is possible I will have students my age or older returning to 8th grade.  Without a doubt, it will be WAAAY different than my previous math-teaching experience in Palo Alto. ;)

7. Will you be mostly on your own, or with other Peace Corps Volunteers?
    For training, I will be in a large group of PCVs- there are about 45 going at the same time as me (though I will live with a host family).  After that, I will share a house at my site with another PCV from my group (I think almost everyone is 2 people per house right now, though my group is the biggest yet, so some house may have 3).  I think it will be nice to have an American roommate to share the experience with, though- this doesn't happen in all PC posts- several are MUCH more isolating, so I think I'm lucky in that regard :).

8.  How long will you be there? Can you come visit the US somewhere in the middle?
       A Peace Corps assignment is 27 months long, which is 2 years doing the project and 2-3 months of training.  I do accrue some vacation time while in the Peace Corps, so I will likely vacation to the US at some point in the middle of my service, though I will also probably use some of my vacation days to travel more in Africa.

9. What will you be doing afterwards?
        Probably graduate school, probably in animal cognition and communication.  But Peace Corps is a time for a great deal of personal growth and self-discovery, so my plans could change.


That's all the questions I can think of at the moment, but I will add more to this post if you ask (the blog just started, so I'm hoping the comments section works).

Introduction- What Led Me Here

18 months ago, I was a in the middle of my senior year at Stanford University.  Like many of my peers, I was quite stressed about choosing something to do after graduation, wishing I would the right choice to find a fulfilling career, but mainly just hoping I would be able to support myself in a very tough job market.  I majored in environmental science, which is a rather broad field, all things considered, and trying to pin down a specific career with a feasible path to get there seemed quite daunting.  The school did host a large, general career fair, but, being in the middle of Silicon Valley,  I felt intimidated by all the tech companies present- I was uninterested and unqualified for that field.  Feeling overwhelmed and a bit disheartened as I wandered around the career fair, I noticed the Peace Corps table and thought, "I could do that."  I hoped to be able to join right after I graduated, but as it turned out, the application process takes a good deal longer.

With an extra year of waiting to see if I was going to get assigned to Peace Corps, I learned that post-graduation life was not exactly what I was dreading.  Yes, I shared a very small apartment, worked two jobs to pay for it, and relied on trains, busses, and a bicycle for transportation, but in general, I enjoyed myself.  My floor staff job at a children's museum was greatly enjoyable (and as it turns out, getting a PAID entry-level job at a nonprofit is no easy thing- many other places only wanted volunteers).  I continued to work with the theater company I had been very involved with as a student, I made new friends and kept the old, and I built a reasonable life for myself.  So it was harder than I expected to say yes when, 4 months ago, I finally got my Peace Corps letter.

My assignment wasn't quite what I had hoped for, or expected.  My biggest and unlikeliest hope was wildlife conservation, something that would lead to a career in that field.  But I knew that most Peace Corps assignments were in education.  I knew I would enjoy most kinds of environmental education projects, though I had already decided through my earlier education jobs (tutoring, teaching science camps, and museum floor staff), I much preferred informal education over classroom teaching.  The regional recruiter with whom I had interviewed said he was nominating me to environmental education, and even when I got an email asking a few last-minute questions just DAYS before my invitation, it said Science Education.  So, I was somewhat surprised, and a bit less enthusiastic when the invitation came and said "Math Education".

While I had some strong preferences about my project, I had very little preferences about location.  I had spent 3 months doing ecology in Hawai'i, and thought another Pacific Island could be a nice extension of that experience, but I have not traveled many places outside of the US, so I had few notions about country assignment.  When I found out I was going to Liberia, I had to do a good deal of research, but I think there are certainly some things about it that make it a good Peace Corps post: the people there are extremely welcoming, and most Liberians really appreciate the Peace Corps.  While the infrastructure is damaged and I likely won't have access to amenities like electricity and running water, a good attitude and a welcoming community will likely help me overcome those difficulties.

The last four months have been an emotional roller coaster.  Even after I officially accepted my invitation to serve, I wavered on whether it was what I really should do with the next two years.  Sometimes I felt like I was continuing with the preparations because I felt I HAD to, not because I WANTED to.  But I kept at it, knowing that if I backed out, I would regret it forever (and I was assured that second thoughts was normal- moving to another country for two years is a HUGE decision not to be taken lightly).  Not everyone stays on for their assignment after training.  I hope I will feel immersed in the experience, get to know the people I serve, and enjoy it once I am there.  I hope I will hardly believe that I ever doubted the decision.  But if I don't stay, at least I will have tried, and will still have some understanding of the experience.

So, here I am, two days before I leave for two years.  I am enjoying my last fast internet for a while, have a huge pile of stuff in my living room that needs to be condensed into two suitcases and a backpack, and have, it seems, for the moment, stopped second-guessing my decision to join the Peace Corps.  So, I suppose, it is time for an adventure!